Lowest Common Domination

Ever since the advent of the printing press, we humans have been hooked on celebrity.  Celebrity for celebrity's sake is however a twenty-first century phenomenon.  Due to the tireless efforts of their respective PR cabals, Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian and sundry other pseudocelebs have wormed their way into our collective unconscious and managed to stay there, like that impossible-to-get chewing gum stuck beneath the soles of our favorite athletic sneakers.  Hey.  Don't scoff.  At least they had SOMETHING.  Beauty.  Flair.  Panache.  Something that our friends in the entertainment community commonly call an "X-factor," or if they haven't had their morning triple-shot espresso, simply "It".  With her bus stop looks and tollbooth charm, Nicole "Snooki" Pollizi proves that you no longer need anything to be a celebrity, not even a toothbrush.  She has shown the world that the lowest common denominator is actually a black hole.  Which begs the question, "Where DO we go from here?"  We'll definitely be noodling on the answer while we're eating canned pears in our underground bunker.

Watch Ms. Pollizi as she waxes philosophical about the issues we so dearly care about: inebriation, fame, and that poison of all poisons, haterade.

Will Somebody Please Think of the Trees!

Don't get us wrong.  We at Signs of the Apocalypse care about the environment.  I can attest to the fact that there were several organic, locally grown, ethically raised beers consumed at our HQ while this post was written.  However, it irks us to no end to see the conservationist movement represented by egotistical assholes such as these.  When the world is a strip mall parking lot, we'll have you guys to thank.

Communing with the Divine

Unless you've been living under a rock for the last several years, you've heard of the extremely powerful hallucinogen, Salvia Divinorum. If you're meme-savvy, you're aware of a subset of videos that deal exclusively with people trying to perform mundane tasks after smoking it, with often hilarious results. Why do we care about Saliva over here at Signs of the Apocalypse? Simple. Ultra-powerful psychedelic drugs USED TO be employed by indigenous shamans and serious spiritual seekers for the purpose of communing with the divine. Aldous Huxley even wrote a book about his experience with Mescaline.  Sadly, in the end times, these plant teachers are relegated to being used by dickheads like our friend in the video, to provide entertainment to his dickhead friends.  We're pretty sure this is how the hoi polloi got down during Emperor Nero's day.  Only they had vomitoriums.  

Meet your next President...

We usually try to stay away from politics here at Signs of the Apocalypse, but Sarah Palin is such an easy target that lampooning her makes shooting fish in a barrel seem like navigating chaos math. You've probably seen the bumper stickers that read "Palin 2012-- The World is Supposed to End Anyway." Think about that as you watch this hilarious compilation of clips.



The scary part is that her political action committee has incredible momentum, and her Facebook group has over a million followers. She's a contender folks.  On that note, I'm going to sneak off to Wal Mart to grab several extra-jumbo sized bags of marshmallows to roast on what's about to become the smoldering ashes of what used to be the United States of America.

Juggalos Gone Wild

If we could transport modern day pop acts back to Biblical times, and throw a "Farewell to Sodom" benefit, the Insane Clown Posse and Tila Tequila would most definitely be headliners. When Signs of the Apocalypse discovered that the ICP's loyal fans, the Juggalos, turned on Ms. Tequila, we were appalled. How could they not understand that the ICP and Tila were not on the same team? Anyway, sit back, relax and watch as concert goers cross that fine line between civility and Juggaloism.

Smashy Smashy

Maybe you've seen this. Maybe you haven't. Maybe you did, and were appalled. There's plenty of reasons to be, not the least of which is the fact that the man featured is by his own admission a crack dealer, and the video's depressing North Vegas backdrop implies a host of negative societal factors. But if you think PT Cruisers look like silly milk-wagon clones, and secretly revel in random acts of senseless vandalism, and you just might find this hilarious.  Don't worry, we won't tell anyone.